How The Relationship Between Black People And Their White Friends Can Be Complicated.

The past couple months have been rough for everybody to say the least. The killings of Alton Sterling in Louisiana and Philando Castile in Minnesota at the hands of the Police, not only rocked the nation but may have driven Micah Xavier Johnson to murder five Dallas Police Officers and injure seven others in retaliation.

This past week has seen the racial tension in America hit a boiling point. A tension that seemed to start simmering a little hotter eight years ago when Barack Obama took office. Throughout the years, the tension has fluctuated at different points; most notably the cases of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown & Freddie Gray. These deaths sparked the birth of the Black Lives Matter Movement, which still seems to be misunderstood to this day.

Throughout the years since the civil right movement, interracial relationships have become commonplace in the lives of many people in America, (excluding hate groups, blatant racists or those still living under a rock). But with the horrible events of this past week and Donald Trump's scary rise as the GOP presidential candidate, the relationship between Black's and some of their white friends got a little tense and may have exposed the radical ideals that some didn't know their friends believed.

Now I will preface this story by saying that I am a 28-year-old black man in America with a large amount of friends and acquaintances from every color and walk of life. Throughout my life, I have always had to deal with stereotypical or awkward comments from ignorant white people and even friends. I have learned throughout my work and social life how to educate many of these people without anger or defensiveness since I realized some years ago that silence wasn't an option anymore. I realized that allowing comments like "You don't look how you sound on the phone" or greeting me with Ebonics rather than Hello, wasn't acceptable anymore. So instead of getting mad, I learned to make these people uncomfortable by calling it to the carpet right away, then educating them on the truth in hopes that they will think before speaking in the future. The truth is not all people make these comments, some keep their ideas to themselves and some have grown up around black people enough to know what stereotypes are false.

(Meme's like this show the ignorance that still plagues our society.)

The problem is that this past week has caused black people to look at their surroundings more closely as well as their friends. Social media has given every individual the ability to voice his or her beliefs at the click of a button and with many outraged at the videos of both Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, some learned the harsh realization that not everybody shared that same outrage. Then a night later five Police officers were killed, causing many who were silent the night before to speak up. Though all the killing this past week is sad and uncalled for, many black people were left feeling like their lives were less of a value and not worth a Facebook status; hence the term #BlackLivesMatter. I watched as many unfriended or stopped associating with people based on what was said or not said. As opinions, video and meme's were posted, tension grew. I experienced this myself as a person who is a member of a majority white church. As I watched people in my church post statuses that made cops killing black people an issue of simple compliance rather than an issue of training or bigotry. One person who is a Delaware State Cop posted a status basically saying, "When you do stupid stuff you get stupid prizes. so just comply" another one of this person's friend's who is a New Jersey State Cop commented and said that he "Loved giving out stupid prizes." If you haven't figured it out by now "Stupid Prizes", is their word used to describe use of force on a suspect. Just the blase' attitude and insensitivity to human life and the power cops have is alarming in itself. I quickly questioned her on the post and was promptly blocked. I watched some move on with their lives like nothing had happened, only to post #PrayForDallas the next day. What about praying for Alton Sterling's family, or Philando Castile as well? What about prayer for reform in our broken justice system? What about the outrage at a man being shot six times at point-blank range with two fully grown men pinning him down? These questions frustrated many African Americans this week. Hopefully, this past week can bring all lives together for a much-needed conversation. But the hard truth is that some don't care to have that conversation, and that's the ignorance that we must continue to fight against.

In closing, I want to address White America about what Black Lives Matter actually means. It doesn't mean that all lives do not matter and that somehow we have an idea that black lives are more important than other lives. Black supremacy doesn't exist and if it does, I'm sure nobody is listening. Black lives matter, is a movement that exists because black lives have been devalued in America since this countries birth. Black people have had to deal with slavery, segregation, and racism forever; not white people. And yes Black on Black crime is real and needs to be addressed but that is something that we have to deal with as a people and isn't an excuse for our law enforcement to kill first and ask questions later. So when you say All Lives Matter understand that though that statement is true, America hasn't been acting like all lives matter for a long time now, which is why movements like #BlackLivesMatter are necessary.

RIP TO ALL THAT LOST THEIR LIVES THIS WEEK #JusticeForAltonSterling #JusticeForPhilandoCastile & #PrayForHealingInDallas

#STOPTHEVIOLENCE